at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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