I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
