I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
