mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
