You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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