I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
