Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
