you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
