I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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