I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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