oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
