And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
