he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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