you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
