I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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