chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
