Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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