I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
