Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
