so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
