Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
