If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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