I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
