i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I AM VODKA MAN
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
