windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
