Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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