Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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