tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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