i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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