I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
