the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
