Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
