i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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