So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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