Define "chronic" masturbator.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
