i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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