dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
