we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
