He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
