So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
