im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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