A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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