i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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