Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
