Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
