i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
