cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
