Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
