Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
