I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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