Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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